7/12/97–From my journal (when I knew that I had a lump in my neck, but it had not yet been diagnosed as Lymphoma).
Lord, something has come to me about my life as I read over my calendars recently; that, no matter what happens (and I don’t mean this morbidly because I expect a miracle) — I have lived my life to the fullest — not only in things I have been able to do — but with the intensity and fervor that I did them and how they made me feel inside! I was blessed with loving, encouraging parents who took me to church as a child and pointed me in the direction I should go. I enjoyed a relationship with a sister who was a kindred spirit in many ways. I married a fine man whom I loved and who loved me and took care of me. We had three children, all exceptional in their own way who have been a blessing and comfort to me. I was blessed to love the things of the Lord from an early age, which prepared me to have a personal relationship with Jesus as a young adult. I have explored all the talents that I know I possess — maybe not to their fullest — but as far as I have been able to with all else that I do. I have oil painted, tole-painted, sung solos, sung in choirs and in small groups, taken some beautiful pictures, and written poems and stories. I have created Banners to the glory of God, and decorated my home, planned parties for friends and families, entertained and comforted; prayed for, testified to, shared the Gospel with, taught, learned, studied, mourned, danced, praised, and ministered. I have laughed, cried, rejoiced and grieved; known forgiveness and given it, and known joy, sorrow and pain. I have felt accepted and rejected — lifted up and let down. I have known great expectation and grave disappointment. I have enjoyed and been filled with things of the Spirit; Beauty, music and art with all my senses and have shared them with others. I have known want and plenty. I have basked in Your Blessings and wondered at Your ways Lord. I have put my trust in You alone when people had no answers. I don’t feel like I have missed out on ANYTHING! Thank You Lord–I praise Your Holy Name!
(4/17/15)–The miracle happened–I have lived 18 more years since this was written in 1997. Here I still am–by God’s Grace!